


pseudothyrum

by 900th



Category: Stardew Valley (Video Game)
Genre: ?????? maybe??, Alcohol, Angst, Drug Use, Friends to Enemies to Lovers, M/M, Slow Burn, forgive me lmao, i don't... know how to tag things i havent written fanfic in YEARS, more tags to be added later, strenuous father/son relationship
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-11-16
Updated: 2017-01-06
Packaged: 2018-08-31 07:51:54
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 2,707
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/8570473
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/900th/pseuds/900th
Summary: can you get that straight? / i am a completely different person / from the one you have in mind//in which sebastian and sam just wanna get outta this town, but they also hate each other just a lil bit//i dont know how to tag, i don't know how to write, i don't know how to plan, and i also don't know how to commit to finishing anything.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. forgive the shitty internet handles  
> 2\. enjoy the shitty internet handles

In the heat of the day, Sebastian could hardly muster the will to go outside.

That’s simply how it was. He had work to do, anyway… It wasn’t worth meandering around in the stifling temperatures. Especially when he wasn’t willing to change his wardrobe for the warmer season. He could hear Sam jeering about his fashion choices, just as he had the multiple summers before, and as he would probably continue to do for the multiple summers ahead of them.

Sebastian carded a hand through jet-black hair. A quick glance at the time on his desktop told him it was 4 o’clock in the afternoon. He let out a sigh and looked over the descending lines of code, though he couldn’t seem to focus on a particular part of it. This module seemed to be taking forever, despite the rush that this client wanted to put on it. Needless to say, an IM took no time at all to flag his attention.

GuitarGuy420: Hey dude wanna come skip rocks by the lake??

A pit opened in his stomach. He couldn’t think of anything less appealing than going to the lake… well, now that he thought about it, going to the lake was neither better nor worse than whatever he was doing now.

xxSebastian: Uh… Could we maybe go to the saloon or something? It’s so hot today.  
GuitarGuy420: Dude the saloon is going to be dead  
GuitarGuy420: Pam will be the only person there  
GuitarGuy420: And you know how that usually goes  
xxSebastian: Yeah, but like…  
xxSebastian: We could just hang in the arcade. Pam never goes in there.  
GuitarGuy420: Abigail doesnt wanna go to the saloon either  
GuitarGuy420: And it wouldnt kill you to go outside for once

Sebastian held back a remark.

xxSebastian: I’m working.  
GuitarGuy420: Whatever we’ll be at the lake in cindersap  
_GuitarGuy420 has logged off._

Ignoring the fact that Sam and Abigail were making plans without him, Sebastian closed the chat window. Biting his cheek, he looked at the time again. 4:10. For a moment, his eyes hovered on the code that remained open in the background. Sam’s words lingered in the back of his mind.

Shoving off the mounting frustration at his work and his friends, he pushed back from his desk and wandered over to his dresser, pulling out a fresh set of clothes that might not necessarily absorb too much sunlight.

Why should he care so much what the blond had to say about how he spent his time? It wasn’t as if he or Abigail really considered what he was doing “work”; to them, it was just an empty excuse to get out of doing stuff. Why should he push himself to go spend time with friends who didn’t really see what he was doing as legitimate, anyway? Sebastian drew a sharp breath, and tossed the clothes on his bed. The answer escaped him.

He shot Sam a text before grabbing his towel: “Hey, I’m going to grab a shower and then head over. Don’t take all the good rocks.”

 

//

 

Roughly an hour or so later, after navigating the deathtrap that was the old farmland north of Cindersap, Sebastian could see his friends down at the lake. Though the heat of the day had passed, the sun was smarting through the leaves of the trees on her steady decent below the horizon. Sebastian clung to the shade of the trees, as if he’d go up in flames should he dare part from the only-slightly-cooler refuge. Per the instructions Sam responded with, there were six sweating cans of beer in his bag. Bracing himself and tightening his grip on the shoulder straps, he made his way over.

“Hey, losers.”

Sam looked up as he found a smooth stone. “Hey, shit, dude, you should’ve seen this rock I skipped earlier. It was fuckin’… Probably the best one ever.”

“I’m sure it was.” He said, tossing his bag to the ground towards the two.

“I’ve done better.” Abigail chimed in as one of her rocks skimmed the surface of the water. She leaned down to grab her beer from the bag.

“How do you get away with just… Taking beer?” She asked as she popped a can open. “My mom gets mad at me if I even mention alcohol.” Sebastian shrugged as she started to drink.

“Mom doesn’t really give a shit, and I couldn’t care less about what Demitrius thinks I should or shouldn’t be doing.”

“God Bless.” Sam murmured as his stone made a soft splash into the water before reaching for the bag.

“Y’Know, If you want the rock to actually _skip_ , you have to throw it correctly.” Sebastian poked, fondling a particularly flat stone. The irritation from earlier was ebbing away in the heat of the evening, the ill feelings a mere memory.

Sam took a swig of beer. “Oh yeah? Show me the proper technique then, master.”

Rock in hand, Sebastian positioned himself and launched the rock onto the water, allowing it to skip a few times before sinking. “See? That’s how it’s done.” Sam let out an exasperated groan.

“Well, that’s exactly what I do!” The blond said, rolling his eyes. Sebastian let out a slight chuckle, grabbing a can of beer himself.

“Sam, what I just did is _not_ exactly what you do.”

The taller boy gave Sebastian a playful shove, spilling some of his drink in the process, surprised grunt slipping out of his mouth in the most endearing way, with Abigail cackling in the background. Sebastian couldn’t hold back a smile for the goofy-ness of his best friend... A rare side that maybe only he, Abigail and Vincent ever really saw.

Abigail, with a hint of amusement in her voice, chimed in from behind the two. “Listen, here’s how it’s _really_ done.”

 

//

 

By the time Jodi called Sam telling him it was time to eat dinner, it was nearly sun-down.

The walk home from Cindersap was always the same. After dropping Sam off at his house, Abigail and Sebastian were left with some time to talk before they reached Pierre’s.

“Hey, Seb…” Abigail begins meekly.

“Hmm?” Sebastian hummed through a drag on a cigarette.

“I hope you know that we don’t… We don’t wanna push you… When it comes to whether or not you hang out with us…” She continued. “Er, I mean, what I’m saying is, Sam cares about you a lot, and I do too, and we never mean to step on your toes…”

Sebastian exhaled, letting out a moderate amount of smoke, making the universal hand gesture for “Cool it, it’s fine”.

“No, really. C’mon, you’re smoking like a chimney…”

“‘No, really’ what? There’s no need to apologize. Sam can just be an ass sometimes. I know you guys meant well.” Spoken with enough conviction, Abigail remained quiet. Sebastian stared at the cobblestone as they walked. He himself wasn’t sure how he felt, only that he didn’t want his friends to feel bad.

Did he feel like maybe his friends didn’t get him, or didn’t understand him, to some degree? Yeah, sometimes. He didn’t hold it against them, necessarily. In some ways, he supposed, it was good to have people who encouraged him out of his shell. In other ways, it was annoying as all get-out, and made him feel like the bad guy; the odd one out.

He quickly extinguished the over-dramatic, angsty thoughts, and decided they fit very squarely in the “We Don’t Think About These Things Because They Make Us Upset and Angry” mental storage unit.

The two kept walking.

Abigail broke the silence again. “Well, okay, I guess… We just like you a lot. We like being around you. Especially Sam.”

“You don’t have to convince me, Ab. We’ve been friends since grade school.”

Abigail gave him a weak smile

“Really, though, I don’t think he means it if he gets upset with you. Just…” Her voice trailed as she fished her house keys out of her vest pocket. “Don’t, uh, take it too personally, I guess. G’night, Seb.”

And with that, Sebastian was alone with his thoughts.

He walked along the ill-lit path north, lighting another cigarette. He could hear his mother chiding him, Demitrius with that judgmental scowl on his face when he’d walk in smelling like sweat and beer and tobacco. Little did he know, Sebastian was sneaking Maru cigarettes on the regular.

His mind wandered back to his friends.

How was he _not_ supposed to take what they were saying seriously? Especially Sam. They were all friends, but Abigail was slightly more understanding… Sam… Never really seemed to appreciate what Sebastian did to make money. After all, Sebastian never knocked Sam’s part-time gig at the Joja Mart. Sebastian was pretty sure he even made more than Sam did—

Seb exhaled. That thought shouldn’t have occurred to him. That shouldn’t have been something he reasonably thought of, and justified his frustrations with.

He stomped his cigarette out on the gravel in front of his house before getting inside and locking the door behind him.

 


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i ain't dead and neither is this fic!

Sebastian awoke to buzzing on his nightstand. Fumbling around with sleepy hands, he eventually was able to answer the seemingly urgent call intercepting his beauty rest.

"HEY! I've been trying to call you for hours! Where have you been?" An all-too-cheery Sam chimed in on the other end of the line. Sebastian groaned, audibly, into the phone and flopped onto his back. "Y'know, it ain't exactly easy to sneak to the back room every five seconds to try and get a hold of you!"

"Sam, it's..." The dark-haired man rolled over to look at his bedside clock. "10 am. You should know better."

"Whatever! Listen, I don't have much time, but..." Just as Sam was about to launch into what must've been the biggest news of his life, Sebastian could hear the voice of one angry Morris in the background. " _Sam, I don't think you're on break right now, are you?!--_ Ah, shit dude, gotta go. Meet me at the Stardrop when I get O--" and just like that, the line went dead.

Sebastian, still half-asleep, simply looked at his phone.

 

//

 

"Okay, so, this is going to sound crazy, but,"

"As if I've never heard those words before." Sebastian interrupted.

"S-shut up! This is really going to be something, okay." Sam's eyes were all stars, his face and tone indicating a particular dedication. "Listen, y'know that cave up by your house? I heard from Shane that --"

"You- _You_ talk to _Shane_?"

"I- _No_! No, not really regularly. It just came up, but uh, no, listen, I heard from Shane who heard from Marnie who heard from Mayor Lewis that Marlon said that that cave has like, a lot of valuable minerals and shit in it." He leaned over the table, lowering his voice. "Like, enough to make us fuckin' loaded."

"What?" Sebastian was skeptical, but a small part of him was curious. "Demetrius has been poking around in that cave ever since we moved here. I'm sure if there was something worth going in there for, we'd know about it already."

"No, you have to dig deep! Like, you really have to get _in_ the mine! It'd be a lot of work, but imagine!" Sam munched on his pizza dreamily.

"I'd never have to work at Joja Mart ever again, and you... you'd never have to, like, do your computer stuff again. I could focus on my music, we could make enough money mining the land, move to Zuzu City like we've always planned... Seb, this could be our big break!"

Sebastian bit his lip, and furrowed his brow, stirring his drink with his straw.

"Sam," He said, anger bubbling up in his blood as the blond continued to look upon him so hopefully. "Has it occurred to you that I may be happy with what I do? Has it occurred to you that I might find my work meaningful?" 

"Wouldn't you rather be working towards something we both want? Think big-picture. Like, the Mine could be a really great way for us to make enough startup cash for us to move out of this podunk town, and get somewhere worth talking about." Sam's face was painful to look at, and part of it only angered Sebastian even more. "And, well, _are you_ happy with your work?" He paused, speaking with a bit more of an edge. "Do you _really_  enjoy being so isolated from everyone else all the time because of your work?"

"That... That's beside the point." Sebastian murmured. "Fuck, man, you know Zuzu City is a pipe dream. We can't keep..." He sighed. "We can't keep clinging to the plans we had in high school... As if life doesn't go on and requires you to fucking... Do what you have to... And maybe I do like that I'm iso-"

"Wait, wait, are you seriously doing this right now?" Sam asked, the surprise in his voice digging at Sebastian's nerves. As if any reasonable person couldn't have seen this coming. "C'mon, at the very least we should give it a shot! Shane said he knows where Clint keeps some old pickaxes, and-"

"A fucking mine is going to be what saves us? And your musical career, Sam? We're gonna find the solutions to all of our problems in _an abandoned mine_ , huh?" Sebastian felt his face growing red, and his voice growing louder. How could his friend, his best friend, someone who should've known him inside and out, put all of this on him? "And what, exactly, am I going to do to cover my expenses while we're down in the mines all day and all night, just waiting to strike a vein or for a fucking, I don't know, tunnel support to _collapse_ and _kill us both_."

"Why are you shooting this idea down so fast, dude? There's serious potential here, you just have to open your closed up little mind to the possibility that everything could be fine if we just _try_ it. I know it's dangerous, but if we get Marlon or Clint to-"

"Sam, this is your stupidest idea yet." Sebastian sat back resignedly. "There's no way in hell."

"Would you _stop_?" 

"Stop _what_? Thinking realistically?" Sebastian shot back. "God, it's so obvious you're only thinking of yourself."

The words slipped out of his mouth, and he could feel his best friend's mood shift from anger to hurt in an instant.

"No, I'm thinking of myself and of the Sebastian who still had the semblance of a life."

 

//

 

Sam left the saloon shortly thereafter, leaving Sebastian both with the responsibility of the check, and explaining to Gus that yes, everything was fine. God, his head hurt after that conversation.

The rest of the night on Sebastian's part was doing work that he, as a matter of fact, didn't want to do. Thinking, pouring over every last little detail of the conversation. The hurt in Sam's eyes. The way his shoulders tensed in anger. The way he ran his hands through his hair when he was explaining something he was passionate or frustrated about... At some point, the code module became a lost cause.

At some point, a deep, dark pit inside Sebastian opened up as he processed the irritation and regret over several glasses of boxed wine.

Was he wrong for thinking so realistically about everything? Maybe if Sam knew how to talk to him, like, even _at all_ , about what his future would be (hell, what _their_ future would be), maybe then it would've gone better. He internally chided himself for putting it all on Sam again. Maybe he himself was wrong, too. Maybe he should've just said yes.

 _Like I always do_. He thought bitterly.

Well, maybe he was right for finally saying something. Maybe it was okay that he stuck up for himself. Maybe it was okay that he was content with his life as the guy living in his parent's basement, working on code every day, sometimes never leaving or even speaking to another person face-to-face-- fuck, it sounded pathetic just to think about it.

His stomach was in knots, and he couldn't tell if it was from the cheap booze or the thoughts in his head.


End file.
